5 thoughts on “Page 13 rough ink

  1. The side to side composition works well. I also like the fact that he considered his mother, but would he call her “mother”? It seems so formal.

    • I know it sounds a bit stiff for our time, but back then, it was common in proper households to use mother and father to address your parents. I may change it later when I see how it fits with the other dialog and artwork. I appreciate your bringing it up. It’s something to keep in mind.

      On another note, I have a postcard that Burrell sent to his mother the morning of the day this happened! It was mailed out of Canada at 4:30 pm., Feb. 4, 1912. He simply wrote “Having a fine time. Burrell” Gives me chills.

  2. It seems like whatever air was left in his lungs went to say hhel and am thinking he would not be crying out, mother I love you. Perhaps it could be a thought, but am not sure any of the mother stuff is necessary unless story is going somewhere with that.

    • I thought of that after I put the speech bubble around the words to his mother. I have to make it look like a whisper. Yes, it is important to include this to develop his character. Due to the shortage of narrative, we have to depend on actions and dialog to get to know him. Anyways, we know that he was concerned about his mother as this happened (in real life). Also, he expunged the air from his lungs but he had to inhale again. Imagine if you jump into a very cold pool. It kind of takes the wind out of you for a moment.

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