Sneak Peek: Details Page 1 & 2

I’ve rewritten, tweaked and finalized those first two pages (actually, they will be page 4 and 5 in the book.) I’m not posting the entire pages, but cropped versions of areas I changed and text I’ve added. The line art of the next page is underway, so watch for it. In many of the pages ahead, there will be much more dialog and less narrative as more people are introduced.

4 thoughts on “Sneak Peek: Details Page 1 & 2

  1. Leda,
    I love the varied textures in these pages as well as the layout. The artwork is wonderful and really sets the mood. I also like the writing and the font, but was wondering if you would consider using upper and lower case letters, as they are easier to read than all caps.

    • The font for the narrative uses all caps, but smaller, less decorative ones in place of lower case letters. I can’t change that. The dialog and thought fonts are in all caps because it is universally accepted as the norm for comics/graphic novel dialog. I thought it would be okay because you are not reading a whole page… barely a paragraph. I may look for another font for the narrative, but I kind of liked the old time style of this one. If it becomes more of a hindrance as the story unfolds, let me know.
      Thanks for the positive feedback about the graphics.

  2. Just one thing: “somehow,” not “some how.”
    At first I couldn’t decide if I liked this better than the earlier version or not. But I do like the complete sentence as the opening.I also like the additional lines hinting at why he stayed. LOVE the wintry color palette of the artwork!

    • Thank you for the grammar check! I’m usually okay with a lot of it, but certainly not up on all of it! I do wish the best words would “come to me” within the first or second rewrite, but I guess that is too much to ask for a beginner like me! Or most writers, I suppose. It feels like it is going to take my lifetime to get the first chapter done, let alone the whole book. I’m so excited to get the story told! The ending is SAWEEET!!!

      I’m so emotionally caught up in Burrell’s story that it is difficult for me to notice when something doesn’t make sense due to untold facts. I know the facts so it makes sense to ME. Others have commented that it was a little too vague; that some mystery is good, but too much and the reader doesn’t want to turn the page. I’m keeping that in mind. Let me know if I get too wordy or reveal things too soon.

      Hope John can join in and give me his two cents eventually. I’m sure he is still in “honeymoon stage”.

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