I dare say I can barely tolerate the shenanigans of that man! The abysmal manners that he is passing on to our children is unacceptable! I’m still picking potato bits out of my hair. Edward can be such a slauterpooch, leaving his underdrawers lying about after his bath, emptying his pockets of greasy gears and dirty screws right onto the kitchen table… and the food fights! How much shouting can I do? One may think me some sort of maulifuff, as I’m always chastising the children for imitating their father, but Edward will not allow me to effectively punish them! They need a good spanking! HE needs a good spanking! I need a bit of tonic.